


Measure of Heart

by theauthor2010



Category: Glee
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, F/F, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-04
Updated: 2011-10-26
Packaged: 2017-10-23 10:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/249078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theauthor2010/pseuds/theauthor2010
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tina and Brittany had been dating since the end of Brittany's freshman year, but for various reasons chose to keep it secret. S1 AU where the girls deal with confiding in Kurt, sexuality issues, public relationships, etc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Joyful](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joyful/gifts).



"You're so b-beautiful Brittany," Tina said, emphasizing even her declarations of love with the fake stutter that had started as a crutch but was now ruining her life. She was so in love with Brittany that it hurt, but like everything else in her life, their relationship was secrets and lies. She and Brittany had been dating since the end of the previous year, but unlike most young couples, they didn't tell anyone. They kept what they had away from absolutely everyone. They weren't even acquaintances in school and yet when they met up in private, it was all love and flowers.

Tina hated it.

"Not as beautiful as you, silly," Brittany said, tilting her head to the side and giving Tina a warm, charming smile. Brittany was always so sweet and gentle and she loved Tina like crazy. That was why it hurt so much that they kept up a charade in spite of their love for each other. "You're so pretty Tina. I can't wait to go down to Kurt's today and dance. It'll be so much fun, right?"

Yeah, she thought, it'd be fun. Part of Tina wondered what it would be like to come out as in a relationship with Brittany. They could come out to Kurt. He had never said the words, "I'm gay" before, but everyone pretty much assumed that he was. Maybe he could be the one person that they didn't have to hide it from. It was a nice thought and brought a smile to her face. "It'll be awesome, Brittany."

Tina didn't feel much better after dancing with Kurt and Brittany. Actually, after hearing Kurt lie to his beloved father about being on the football team, she felt worse. It seemed like nobody could be honest about who they were, even to the people who mattered most. It felt to Tina that, like her, everyone else was intensely faking something. It made her feel sick to her stomach.

That night, when Tina got home, her mother picked up on her words. Tina had always been very close to her mother. She knew the sacrifices that her parents made to even be able to raise her and she loved them for it. "Tina, you seem out of sorts," she said, entering Tina's room, sitting on her bed and staring up at her daughter with big, concerned eyes. "Has something been bothering you at school?"

Tina sometimes imagined coming out to her parents about Brittany. She knew that neither of them would be homophobic, or bothered by the fact that their daughter was bisexual. It was a nice change from most of the parents in their small, conservative town. No, her real problem with coming out to her parents was that neither of them would understand why she and Brittany were hiding their relationship. Neither of them understood the social structure of McKinley High or how devastating it would be for their daughter to be outed as Brittany Pierce's girlfriend. They wouldn't get it. "I'm fine, Mom," she lied. "I had a lot of fun today, actually. Brittany, my friend, and I…we went to visit Kurt Hummel and he taught us this awesome dance routine."

"He's the adorable one that looks super young, right?" she asked. "The mechanic's son?" Tina nodded in confirmation, glad that she had parents who were both so interested in her life.

"It was really fun," Tina said. She decided to confide a little bit in her mom. "It kind of bothered me though, because Kurt lied to his father today and told him that we were dancing in preparation for his involvement with the football team. He acted like – like his father wouldn't love him as a kind of flamboyant guy who likes to dance, but that he had to become someone else. Why does everyone have to lie about who they are?" Guilt struck her hard at her own words. Her mother had no idea that she was faking a stutter and had since she was in the sixth grade. She was the queen of the liars.

Her mother was quiet before she spoke. She seemed to really be thinking about Kurt's situation. "People are afraid of showing their true colors, Tina," she said sagely. "It's nothing new really, but it's a sad, sad, state of things. People, in general, don't want to face other's assessment of their true self. They do, however, torture themselves anyway, imagining what other people will think."

Tina felt close to tears at her mother's words .She knew that her mom was right, not just about a bunch of people, but about her. She was so afraid of what people would say about her. It made her anxiety flare, her heart race, but at the same time she had tortured herself with fantasies and images. She woke up with nightmares of people calling her out for being Brittany's girlfriend, making fun of her, doubling the slushies and locker slams because she had the audacity to be in a lesbian relationship with someone like Brittany. It made her sick. She couldn't. She didn't even want to speak in front of classes; how could she face that kind of criticism?

"I hope Kurt figures it out," Tina said, her response halfhearted. She was pretty sure that her mother knew she wasn't talking about Kurt. "I'll finish my homework and come down for dinner. I love you Mom."

"He will," she said as she left, confirming Tina's certainty that she knew with a quick, meaningful hug.

It turned out that her mother was right, about Kurt at least, because the next time they came over to his house, he came out to them and admitted that he also came out to his father. "It was pretty easy to tell Dad, actually," he muttered, wiping at his eyes. "He said that he already knew. He knew since I was three years old."

Tina smiled at that, slightly distracted from her own pain. "H-how does s-someone knows that a three year old is gay?" she asked.

"It's quite a story but it has to do with a pair of heels," Kurt said, chuckling under his breath. "You guys just have no idea how glad I am that my dad is, well, my dad. He's good to me and it wasn't the horror story I thought that it'd be. I…yeah…sorry I'm seriously getting overemotional here. It's just that parents in this area haven't been known to exactly understand and my dad is amazing."

"My mom knows I'm bisexual!" Brittany said with a perky tone to her voice. Tina blinked and turned to her girlfriend in shock. She knew that Kurt would make a great ally for them someday but Brittany just blurted things out with such ease. "She's okay with that."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Well, some parents are awesome, I gotta admit," he said, with one of those sweet smiles that were usually reserved for Brittany. Tina knew how it was. It was impossible for people not to fall in love with her girlfriend, at least on a platonic level. She was sweet, innocent and perfect. "I hope that you find love as well, someone to love you Brittany, whoever that may be – boy, girl, whatever."

She looked at them both and felt tears starting to form in my eyes. Brittany looked to her, struggling not to tell Kurt about their love. Tina knew Brittany was in love with her and wanted Kurt to know that she was just as in love with Brittany. "She has," she muttered under her breath, so quiet that she was not sure either of them heard. She knew they heard her cry though, because the second she said those words, the tears started. "I l-love her so much it h-hurts me," she said. For once in her life the stuttering wasn't at all fake.


	2. Chapter 2

Brittany wrapped her arms around Tina as she broke down crying. Sometimes she didn't understand her girlfriend's emotions and how fast they went up and down, but she loved Tina anyway. Tina meant everything to her and was just the special someone for her. Nobody had ever looked at Brittany in the way Tina did. Tina treated her like she was the only girl in the world. "It's gonna be okay sweetie," she said softly, kissing the top of Tina's head. "We can tell Kurt about us. He's gay, remember? It won't hurt us."

"Are you two together?" Kurt asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He looked at them skeptically, as if he didn't quite believe it. He tilted his head to the side. Brittany didn't say anything. She knew that if they were going to be open and honest then Tina had to tell. She was the smart one, the one who knew how to handle things.

Tina nodded slowly.

"Why are you hiding it?" Kurt asked with a look of shock on his face.

Brittany wrapped her arms around Tina and kissed her forehead. "Tina, sweetie, calm down," she said. She didn't want Tina to freak out. Brittany knew when people were trustworthy and well, Kurt was totally okay to trust. "It's just me and Kurtie here. Tina's nervous about it, Kurt. She's shy and people would be mean to us." That was how Tina explained it at least. Brittany wasn't sure how people could be mean to them when all they were doing was being in love, but people at McKinley were pretty mean…

"T-they w-wouldn't get it Kurt," Tina said.

"Frankly, I don't get it," Kurt mumbled. "It'd be nice to not be the lone gay kid at McKinley, you know?"

At that, Tina started crying harder. Brittany held her a little tighter and looked at Kurt, not understanding how sweet, innocent Kurt's words could hurt Tina so much. "Kurt, I'm s-sorry," she whispered, closing her eyes. Her stutter even let up when she started rambling at Kurt. "Kurt, it's just so scary to think of what people would do. They already bully me badly enough and Brittany has a bad reputation, but she also has a reputation with the cheerios to maintain and Coach Sylvester would probably kill her if she was being all lesbian like with the resident goth-y Asian girl…"

"I love Tina a lot," Brittany said, shrugging. "It's just scary to mess things up."

"Don't you guys feel like you're lying to yourselves?"

"All the time," Tina whispered.

Brittany wasn't really sure if she felt like she was lying to herself. How could you lie to yourself? Wasn't lying impossible to do if you knew that you were lying because you'd never believe yourself? Brittany shook her head, confused. "I don't know, Kurt," she whispered.

"Maybe messing things up is worth it," he said dully.

Brittany wondered if it would be safe for them to come out. She had trouble grasping the gravity of the situation but she knew that it'd be hard. Tina might get more slushies in her face and more boys would call Brittany a slut. Tina couldn't take the attention that girls got when they kissed. Brittany had kissed Santana before and boys looked and yelled and said dirty things. If they said those things to Tina she would panic.

"It's not like I don't want to, Kurt," she said sorely. "Tina and I both want to."

It was left at that. Brittany wasn't sure what to do, but they left Kurt's shortly after that and she and Tina parted ways before anything could be said. She didn't really see much of Tina until the next day of glee practice.

Brittany loved glee club practice. She had initially joined because Coach Sylvester said they had to, but now it was her favorite thing in the world. She loved singing and dancing, especially dancing, and it allowed her time to be close to her beloved Tina. She got to dance with Tina, be close to Tina and listen to Tina sing without judgment.

Of course it was hard too. She had to stay close to Quinn and Santana, not Tina, who hung out mainly with Artie and Mike. She also had to listen as Quinn made fun of Tina's stutter. She did manage to quip a cold, "at least she has talent," that made Quinn fume and Santana smirk with a scandalized gasp.

When she was close to Tina during a dance number, sometimes she could grab her hand, dance with her or be close. During a dance number, she could pretend that they weren't hiding. She could pretend that their relationship was real and out in the open to everyone.

She wondered if she and Tina should feel bad about keeping their relationship secret. Kurt seemed to act like it was the worst thing ever. She didn't want to hide Tina from anyone, but she also didn't want either of them to face additional bullying. Brittany didn't get much because she was a Cheerio but Tina would get hurt, which was the worst possible thing.

In the evening, she went home and confided in her cat. Lord Tubbington never responded, of course, but at least he was someone to vent to. "I really, really love her," she told the overweight cat, lying back on her bed. She groaned and stretched, rolling her eyes in displeasure. "She's not like anyone else I know. She doesn't see me as an idiot. She loves me for me."

He was quiet but he did get closer. That meant enough.

Over the next weeks there was a lot of drama. Coach Sylvester and Mr. Schue fought like crazy and even split glee club in two. The worst part of the drama though, was the fact that Quinn was having a baby. Brittany thought it was confusing. She understood that Quinn was pregnant, but she didn't understand why everyone was so angry at Quinn. She was having a baby. Brittany's mom had told her once that bringing a child into the world was the best thing ever and made a person understand love.

One day, after school, Brittany asked Quinn about love, hoping that she already had some of that wisdom that came with having a baby. "Quinn, how do you feel about loving someone?" she asked. She wondered if Quinn would understand anything about the love she felt for Tina every single second of every single day.

"I love Finn," Quinn said sullenly, her eyes full of lies. "I guess that's all I can know right now."

"I don't think you're telling the truth," Brittany told her. "Lying will hurt your baby."

"Oh shut up, like you know anything," Quinn said, taking up and leaving.

Brittany wasn't sure about anything anymore. She was confused and loved her girlfriend but she was lost. She approached Tina shortly after Quinn left. "Tina, honey, can we talk for a minute?" she asked, not caring who saw them close together.


	3. Chapter 3

"Of course you can," Tina said in a confused tone of voice. She tilted her head to the side and looked Brittany over. Brittany took a deep breath and then asked the question that was on the top of her mind.

"Tina, do you love me?" she asked. She was always pretty sure that what she and Tina had was love, but with all that was going on around them, she just wanted to make sure. It was so confusing, the whole concept of love. It was a lot bigger and a lot more complicated than Brittany ever imagined it could be. It seemed like it was so easy in movies.

Tina looked around, briefly, and then nodded. "Of course I love you Brittany."

That made Brittany smile in relief. She wanted Tina to love her more than she wanted anything in the world. "I don't want to lie or hide, Tina," she admitted. "If we can't be honest with everyone, even though I wish we could, then well, I just want to be honest between us. I love you. I will always love you. I just want to be true to us."

Tina looked around again and then led them over toward an empty classroom. She looked in the small window and then walked inside. She leaned against the wall. "I'm never going to be an honest person until I tell you the truth," she muttered out loud. "Brittany, I have a confession to make to you." She looked up and Brittany recognized the emotion of shame. "I have to tell you about my stutter."

"Your stutter?" she asked. "I thought it was getting better."

"It's fake," Tina whispered. She looked up at her with the saddest eyes Brittany had ever seen. She started to cry. "I've been faking a stutter since I was in the sixth grade. I've always been shy. I think that I might have anxiety disorder but I've always been scared to tell my parents. When I was a kid, I realized that having a stutter would make my teachers leave me alone and people stop asking me to talk. It seemed so smart, like the only option."

Brittany was confused, but tried to be sweet and understanding. She reached over and wiped Tina's tears, leading her to a desk to sit on top of it. Tina sat there, breathing heavily through the tears that were still coming. "Tina, if you have a disorder, you should tell your mom. She's super sweet. It's kind of like my bad allergies."

"Allergies?" Tina asked, obviously not following. Brittany tried her best to explain what she was saying to Tina.

"I had bad, bad allergies when I was little. They made my life suck so I went to a doctor and got medicine. It made everything all better. Anxiety makes your life suck, right?"

"Right," Tina said. It looked like she was starting to get what Brittany meant. A look of understanding was crossing her pretty face.

"So tell your mom and maybe she can help you make it better," Brittany said seriously. "You've had this problem for a long time, right?" It was easy as far as she saw it. Tina needed help and her mother was a good woman who could help her. She supposed Tina was afraid she'd be mad, but Brittany couldn't be mad at her for protecting herself from a problem. She was a good girl and Brittany loved her a lot.

"Right," Tina whispered. "I should get help. I'm too old to be faking a stutter just to hide."

"It's okay."

"It's part of why I'm scared to tell people that we're together," Tina confessed, looking up at Brittany. She explained things slowly, even though her voice sounded scared. "I mean, I always tried my hardest not to get noticed. It would be almost impossible not to get noticed if I was dating you. People notice you Brittany. You're beautiful, talented and you make a scene. People know you and who you are."

Brittany blushed at that. She didn't mean to be noticed, but it just came with who she was. She was a Cheerio, she was popular and well known. It was just the persona she had developed in high school and it was something that would stick with her. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"I love it," Tina admitted. "It just scares me."

Brittany wasn't exactly sure what to do about the problem they were facing, but impulsively she pressed a tiny kiss to her girlfriend's lips. Tina broke into a smile at that, which told Brittany she'd done the right thing. Tina kissed her back cautiously, running a hand over her cheek as they kissed. Brittany didn't want to ever stop kissing Tina. "There," she said, looking at the door because she knew the school wasn't the most private of places to hold a secret affair. "Tina kisses make everything better. You don't have to fake anything about you, Tina, because you're awesome."

"I'm going to try my best," Tina admitted, looking like she was on the verge of crying. "Come on, let's get out of here."

As they walked out of the classroom, Brittany looked down at Tina's hand, wishing she could hold it. "Tina," she said, hesitantly. "I know that you're not ready to tell people we're more than friends, but can we start acting like friends at least."

"Of course."

Being friends with Tina wasn't as easy as it seemed. Just a few days after she and Tina had decided to start acting like friends, Santana started teasing her for it. "What is it with you and Gotherella?" Santana asked at Cheerio's practice, stretching on the football field. Brittany looked at her confused, not sure who or what she was talking about until Santana continued speaking. "You guys have been all buddy, buddy the last few days. In case you haven't realized, Britt-Britt, just because we're in glee club doesn't mean we have to be pals with them."

"Tina's my friend," she said softly, not wanting to get into an argument with Santana because, well, those kinds of arguments could quickly turn ugly. "I'm not going to fight with you about it Santana. She might not be the most popular kid in school but she's awesome."

"I'm just warning you Brittany," Santana said, closing the gap between them. "It's not good socially for one of us to be that close to one of them." Brittany was about to scream that she didn't care when Coach Sylvester blew her whistle and they all were forced to come running to the practice spot.


	4. Chapter 4

Planning for Sectionals led to a pretty sobering realization for New Directions: there was not enough money in the budget to get an accessible bus for Artie. While most of the glee club was dismissive of the issue, Tina saw Artie's pain. She could see the spark in his eyes and the way it was extinguished by the realization that the glee club just didn't care enough. She initially couldn't find the courage to speak up about it, but thankfully Mr. Schue started talking fundraising. That was the spark that she needed.

"We should definitely earn money for the bus," Tina said, finding her courage. Some people in her classes asked about the stutter, but in glee, she had come out quietly and they had been accepting. They understood her better than she had ever hoped for. It was a relief. "We don't think about how Artie feels. Nobody should feel excluded, not in glee club..."

She smiled at Artie and he smiled back.

"I think we need a lesson in empathy here," Mr. Schue said clearly. Tina could see the wheels turning in his head. "We will also definitely be fundraising to get the accessible bus. I'll get back to you guys."

"Thank you Tina," Artie said, surprisingly humbly for him as he wheeled up to her after the meeting. Tina smiled at him and shook her head. It was common sense and the glee club really lacked the sense of empathy they needed to know it. It surprised her because Artie's hurt was pretty obvious. "I really didn't want to make a big deal about it, but it's pretty cool that you did."

"It's no problem Artie," she said, speaking calmly and clearly. "It's important that the club learns to appreciate you. I would have thought the losers would know better about including everyone."

"Yeah me too," he mumbled awkwardly.

She reached down and hugged him. "I'll see you tomorrow Artie," she said brightly. Her brightness dimmed considerably when she realized what she had to do when she got home. "I need to get home to talk to my mom about some things." She took off, feeling that familiar sense of dread in her chest.

When she got home, she saw that her mom was there alone. She opened the door to find her mom in the living room reading. "Hi Tina," she said, putting the book down in her lap. "How was school?"

"It was alright," Tina mumbled, putting her bag down and joining her mom in the living room. She sat on the couch opposite the chair her mom was in. "Is Dad home from work yet?" She wanted to tell both of her parents but the most important thing was telling someone, right away, before she lost the courage.

"Not yet honey; not for another half hour at least."

Tina took a deep breath. "Well, can I tell you something?"

Her mom got up and joined her on the couch. Tina immediately sat closer, giving her mom a halfhearted hug. Her family was very affectionate, gentle and loving. "Of course you can," her mother said. "You can tell me everything."

She leaned against her mother's shoulder and shut her eyes as she spoke. "I think that I have problems," she whispered. "I have issues with anxiety disorder, I think, at least from what I've looked up online. Social anxiety mostly, but maybe it's a generalized anxiety thing. I get really scared when people pay direct attention to me. It makes me sick to my stomach when I have to talk to people or they notice me." She took a breath. "Sometimes I can handle it, but sometimes I can't…"

It all came out in waves. She confessed that she sometimes faked a stutter to keep people from talking to or noticing her at school. She confessed that she was always afraid of the way people looked at her, even if she dressed in a way that would purposely get them looking. She confessed that her clothes were often a crutch. In the wave of confession, she almost told her mom about her relationship with Brittany but found that she couldn’t.

Her mother stroked her hair, lightly. "Tina, sweetie," she whispered, brushing away the strands of hair that had fallen into her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? I've noticed some things, but you've been so good at hiding the worst of it. Your father and I want the best for you, we always have…"

She looked into her mother's eyes, saw the concern in them and then started crying. "It's just so hard when sometimes I feel like I can't breathe," she admitted. "I just want to be normal and eight times out of ten I can be normal. It's those other two that kill me."

"Tina, we're going to get you help, but you have to promise to me that you're going to come to me if you ever feel that way again."

Tina sniffled but she nodded. She knew that Brittany was right about her family. She had so much support and she needed to use it. She clung to her mom, giving her a tight hug that lasted for a long time as she cried, trying her best to relax and calm down.

After that, Tina's mother spoke to her father. It was awkward, overhearing them talking about her. They worked together though and informed her that they were going to take her to a therapist and a psychiatrist to try and help her out. Tina was scared of that, so scared, but relieved. It was something that she needed.

A few days later, Mr. Schuester came to the glee club with a plan to help Artie out and to teach them about acceptance and diversity. It was going to be incredibly awkward to spend some time in a wheelchair, but Tina grew so much admiration for her teacher at that. She could tell by the way that Artie looked that he was overjoyed.

Shortly after that announcement, Tina was sitting with Kurt and Brittany in the basement again. They had become a sort of trinity of friends, a trio that worked together. "I'm going to fight for the solo on Defying Gravity," Kurt whispered, in the middle of a conversation. The statement seemed out of place but Tina could see the fire in her friend's eyes. She admired Kurt so much for standing up for himself.

"That would be beautiful," she whispered. She had never been able to go see Wicked, unfortunately, but she had seen hundreds of online videos. She knew the plot by heart and knew that Kurt could sing the hell out of that song. "I can't believe that you even have to fight for it. It's well within your range, right?"

Kurt nodded, his eyes lighting up. "I can absolutely nail that high F. I need a little practice but my dad and I are going to fight for it."

"You're so brave Kurt," Tina said, impulsively pulling him into a hug. She blushed when she realized what she had done but Kurt was laughing and so was Brittany. Brittany reached over and joined their group hug. "You're so brave and strong and you have no idea how much we admire you."

"I don't know how admirable it is, but I want it."

Tina looked at Brittany and smiled. She understood the way it felt to just want something so badly it hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

When the diva-off occurred in glee and Kurt lost, Tina was initially very depressed. Kurt had wanted that solo more than he wanted anything. Tina's sadness was quickly replaced by anger, however, when Brittany informed her that Kurt had thrown the competition. "It was definitely fake, the way that he messed up that last note," Brittany mumbled, tilting her head in that very Brittany way of hers and shaking her head again when she confirmed in her mind that she was right.

"How do you know that?" Tina asked, watching as Kurt made his way out of the room immediately after Rachel was voted as the better soloist.

"I just do," Brittany mumbled. "There was something off in the way he messed up. It's not like a real mess up."

Tina got up and immediately took it upon herself to follow Kurt out of the classroom. Brittany followed shortly after that. "Kurt," Tina said with her voice as strong as she could make it. "What happened back there?"

Kurt turned around and she could see that he was crying. "I couldn't hit the note," he said. "It's no big deal. Rachel is definitely the more suitable soloist. She has a very good voice that is very fitting of the song. It was a good competition but I messed up that last note. It's no big deal, Tina; it's no big deal at all."

"I can tell you were faking it, Kurt," Brittany said as she arrived at the scene. "I just don't understand why."

Kurt crumbled in front of them at those words. He shook his head and tears started to flow freely down his pale face. He looked around and then whispered the words, so that nobody else would hear them. "The night that we got my audition," Kurt whispered, "we got a call at the house. My dad picked up. Someone was making comments about his son being a fag. I just…I knew that if I won this, which I undoubtedly would have because I'm a hell of a lot better than Rachel, then those calls would get worse."

"You were doing it to protect your dad…" Tina whispered.

"I don't understand," Brittany mumbled to Tina. "Why would someone call Kurt and say mean things?"

Tina looked at her girlfriend and her heart felt heavy. Brittany was the best thing in her life, but at the same time she was such an innocent. Tina knew that there was no way in the world that Brittany could conceive of someone abusing Kurt for being gay. Luckily, she didn't have to explain to Brittany because Kurt took over for her. "It's okay Brittany," he whispered through his tears. "Some people are just very hateful, especially toward gay people."

"That's stupid."

With that, they both hugged him tightly, wrapping their arms around their third musketeer. Kurt laughed sadly and Tina hugged him tighter. She wished that there was something to be done but as far as she knew there was literally nothing that they could do.

"I used to think that I was mad at you guys for not being out," Kurt admitted when the hug ended. He looked down at the floor and sniffled. "I'm jealous though. You guys have this really fantastic love and yet aren't taking abuse for it. I'm gay and the closest thing I have to a relationship is my crush on stupid Finn Hudson."

"You can do much better," Brittany said gently. Somehow, Brittany always said the right things.

Time passed as though nothing had really happened. The next assignment in glee was to sing ballads with a partner, using them as a place to project your feelings…or something like that. Tina was paired with "other Asian" Mike Chang. It wasn't a bad pairing; he was nice and easy to talk to. He was also shy, so he didn't expect much from her.

"Have you found any ballads that express how you're feeling?" Mike asked her as they hung out at his house. Mike's parents were pretty stereotypically Asian, but didn't seem to mind her presence, considering that day she dressed the part of the nice Asian girl.

She had her laptop on the table between them. She had been searching for some songs but had found none to really fit how she was feeling. "Not really," she said.

Mike thought for a moment then reached over her, typing in something. "How about this?" he asked. "It's not something in your range or anything like that but it can be modified. I think Brittany would really like it. It'd mean a lot to her."

"Secret Valentine? Mike-"

Tina stopped in her tracks when she realized that Mike knew about her and Brittany. "Mike," she whispered. "Nobody knows about us. How did you know about us?" Her heart was racing in her chest, speeding up to an unimaginable rate. Mike touched her shoulder in a gesture that was comforting, at least to a degree.

"It's okay Tina," he said gently. "Brittany and I have been friends for awhile, through cheerleading and football and stuff. I can just tell when she talks about you that she's in love. At first I thought that she just had some kind of crush on you…" He smiled awkwardly but continued. "Then I realized that it was absolutely mutual. You guys are together, right? Please tell me that I'm not totally off base with my assuming?"

She shook her head. "You're not."

He gave her a gentle squeeze, a hand around her shoulders. She leaned into the hug, thankful for it. "It's okay Tina," he said. "I understand why you guys aren't out about it, but a nice song might make Brittany feel better."

"I want to come out soon," Tina mumbled under her breath. "I'm just so scared Mike. You've seen how bad they torture Kurt at school for being gay. Also, Brittany has a sort of reputation and I don't want to be pulled into that."

"You'll have the glee club behind you," Mike assured her. "They'll support you. We'll all make sure that nobody hurts you, well, you know, beside the stuff that we already get all of the time. We're here for you and Brittany."

She turned around and gave him a proper hug. "Thanks Mike. Now what are you feeling?"

He laughed, rolling his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Working with Santana on a glee project usually would have been fun, but the other Cheerio was honestly giving Brittany a hard time. "All these ballads are stupid," Santana mumbled, laying back on Brittany's bed and beckoning Brittany closer. Brittany knew that Santana was kind of irritated with her for backing out of their friendship, which involved a lot of intimacy. She just knew that was wrong and that it would be cheating because she had a girlfriend. "I don't know how I'm supposed to sing these..."

"They're not stupid if you're in love," Brittany said, opting for her desk instead of joining Santana on the bed. She sat down. Immediately, Lord Tubbington crawled up onto the desk and plopped his large form in front of her. She pet him good naturally, willing to humor the cat. "They feel good and express a lot of feeling, like Mr. Schue said."

"Are you in love Brittany?" Santana said with a smirk. "How would you know?"

"Yes…"

The word just slipped from her mouth. She couldn't control it. Brittany blushed and shook her head. She would not tell Santana that Tina was the person she loved, no matter what happened. She scratched behind her obese cat's ears, trying to act as though she had said nothing.

"Well?" Santana asked, raising an eyebrow. "Who on earth are you in love with, B?"

"I can't tell," she said bravely.

"Why can't you?"

Brittany turned toward Santana; her chair hit the desk, scaring the cat off. "I can't tell you because it's secret. We're keeping it quiet until she's comfortable. She's not ready."

She thought that was the end of it, until Santana's eyes got big with a look that Brittany recognized as her evil one. "Oh my god," Santana said, clasping a hand over her chest dramatically. "It's Tina! You and Tina are having a secret lesbian love affair, aren't you?"

Brittany shook her head from side to side as her stomach twisted; a strange gnawing feeling clawed at her insides. She felt so guilty and sad. Tina would be miserable if anyone knew about them being together now. She would be so upset if someone knew. "No," she said clearly. "No, it's…it's someone else. It's not Tina."

Brittany didn't understand. Why was Santana so delighted when she wanted to cry? She couldn't hide from Santana very well because they'd been best friends for years, but she didn't want anyone to know. Santana smiled knowingly. "Please?" she asked weakly. "Santana you can't tell a soul."

Santana ignored her question and sat up on the bed. "Why Tina?" she asked. "I mean, she's pretty in an Asian sort of way I guess…"

"She's the most beautiful girl in the world," Brittany whispered, getting off of her chair and sitting cross-legged on the floor. She felt like she could think better on the floor. "She's also sweet, kind and listens to me. She treats me like I'm the best person in the world, even though that's her. I love her Santana, now please, shut up."

It was a miracle that she got Santana to shut up, mostly.

 

Sectionals came quickly and New Directions was terrified. Long story short: a mishap occurred where Mr. Schue couldn't come with them and it got out all around the school that Puck, not Finn, was the father of Quinn's baby. Failure was imminent and Tina hated the panicked, terrifying feeling that came with failure.

Then they found out their set list had been stolen. "We're done," Tina whispered to Brittany, looking at the group of dejected kids sitting in the green room. Brittany looked hopeless, which was even harder to handle because it was Brittany. Brittany was her ray of sunshine. She leaned over and put a hand on her girlfriend's shoulder.

"I want to believe that we can win but this is too much," Brittany said softly, looking at all of the kids. That was when Finn burst into the door with sheet music, courage and not even a passing glance at his cheating girlfriend or his former best friend.

They managed to figure things out. Their big number was Rachel's "Don't Rain on My Parade" which Rachel explained during their frantic preparations that she had been performing since she was three years old. Their group number was spectacular, and would showcase what New Directions was all about. They came together in a beautiful way and Tina could not believe the way that her faith in the power of music was renewed. They actually stood a shot at winning the competition.

When the time came to announce the winners, they were called as victors and Tina was sure she was going to faint. She grabbed hold of Brittany's arm and held on tightly as the announcement was made ever-so-slowly.

"We did it!"

Tina could not believe her ears when they were announced the winners. She wrapped her arms around Brittany and hugged her tightly. She was starting to ease into the idea of actively showing people that she and Brittany were indeed together.

Brittany pulled back and grinned. "We did," she said. "Rachel may be obnoxious, but she has an awesome voice and our group number gave me butterflies!"

Tina agreed completely. She sighed and let go of Brittany, moving on to congratulate others, including Artie who she somehow ended up sitting on during their jovial embrace. It was nothing that they could have ever expected or imagined.

On the bus ride back home, she even sat tucked into her girlfriend's side, letting Brittany play with her hair. She had decided that she was going to get comfortable with being open, because it was going to happen sooner or later. Some of the other glee club members (namely Quinn and Rachel) stared at them with curiosity, but Tina ignored it and just cuddled closer to Brittany. "I love you Tina," Brittany mumbled in her ear, making Tina tense and jump up a little.

"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?" Brittany whispered. "Honestly, Tina, love is confusing me right now because I thought Quinn loved Finn but she cheated on him and…I don't really know what love is but I'm pretty sure that I feel it for you."

"No, nothing's wrong with what you said," Tina whispered back, leaning up into her girlfriend's side again. "Love you too, Britt."


	7. Chapter 7

Sure, Coach Sylvester had encouraged them but Brittany didn't feel much like playing around with and seducing Finn. "What is your problem?" Santana asked when they walked away from Finn. "You need to get your game on Britt-Britt. If Tina can't be open then she has no right to get jealous, right?"

Brittany frowned heavily. "I guess," she said, even though she wasn't sure that was right. "I just hate playing around with people Santana."

"Well get your act together," Santana said, nudging her shoulder. "You wouldn't want someone to accidentally let the truth slip."

By the end of their date with Finn, Brittany was done. She couldn't lie, she couldn't hide. Even if Tina wasn't ready to come out, she couldn't keep playing games and doing things that she knew would hurt Tina if they ever got to her. Santana slipped a hand up her arm, leaning over flirtatiously and Brittany just brushed it off. "Stop touching me Santana," she said, making the other girl drop her hand. "I'm not playing anymore."

"I've never seen this side of you Brittany," Santana said smirking. "It's hot."

"Go away."

The next day at school, she was going to do it. She was going to talk to Tina about coming out. She could keep her girlfriend safe if she had to. She just couldn't lie anymore.

Evidently, telling Santana to go away was enough damage. When Brittany got to school the next morning, something was very different about the atmosphere. She went to look for Tina, amidst the whispering that she didn't understand. She rolled her backpack onto her left shoulder, looking around for any sight of the beautiful girl. She found Tina before first period, cornered by a couple of the hockey players. Brittany recognized a few of them as people she'd been intimate with before. She quickly approached them.

"We all know she's a slut. Are you telling me that you haven't fucked her, china-doll?"

Tina looked terrified and that was when Brittany's protectiveness kicked into full gear. She approached them faster and got between the hockey boys and Tina. Tina's eyes widened in shock at seeing her. "Who the hell are you and why are you messing with Tina?" she asked.

"You don't recognize me, Britt? We fucked last year." Brittany took in his face and no, she didn't exactly recognize him. He continued speaking, leaning over her to get closer to Tina. "Come on, Chang-ching, share the details."

"Get out of her face!" Brittany yelled, pushing the boy back despite her stance on nonviolence. He stumbled back.

Behind her, the other jocks had launched a slushie attack on her beloved girlfriend. Tina yelled out as several grape slushies hit her in the front and back. A teacher peeked his head out of the calculus room to their left and the bullies walked away. Such was the way of life at McKinley High School. Tina was left standing there, dripping and covered with grape dye. "Someone l-let it out," she told Brittany, eyes wide.

"I know who," she whispered, pulling Tina close and toward a bathroom. "I am so sorry."

She couldn't believe that Santana would do this to her. She thought that they were best friends, even though things had grown strained between the two of them. She shook her head and lead Tina into the bathroom. Tina sat down on one of the stall toilets, taking off her jacket, which was soaked. Her pretty dress was dark colored but still Brittany could see the wet spot where the slushie had taken over. She quickly grabbed a mass of paper towels. Tina wiped off her face while Brittany frantically wiped her top.

"It's okay," Tina whispered, looking beyond Brittany into the mirror. "Brittany, dab don't wipe. I have a change of clothes in my locker."

Brittany's heart broke at her girlfriends soft, gentle words. She took off her jacket and draped it over Tina's shoulders. "Here sweetie," she said, gently setting it down and hugging her. "I'm sorry sweetie. I had no idea Santana would do that to us."

"It's not your fault Brittany. You know that. But – Santana, why would she do that to us? Santana? Are you sure?"

Actually she didn't. She felt like the whole thing was her fault. "I'm stupid," she said, leaving the bathroom as fast as her legs would carry her. "I'll get your clothes; I actually remember your combination."

Brittany ran to Tina's locker, only stopping when she reached it. She stood against it for awhile, trying to breathe in and out. She knew that Tina was prone to panic but she had never felt this uncomfortable fear before. She was going to kill Santana. She shook her head and slammed a fist against Tina's locker, immediately feeling bad because she messed with her girlfriend's locker. She unlocked it after only three times, taking a deep breath. Tina's clothes were in a small plastic shopping bag with a post-it note attached reading: FOR SLUSHIE EMERGENCIES.

How messed up was it when the glee kids actually kept stuff like that in their lockers? Brittany frowned, definitely unhappy.

When Brittany returned to the bathroom, Tina was standing tall. She looked at Brittany with a cold sadness, but at the same time a determination in her eyes. "Thank you," she said, quickly undressing to her bra. She frowned to see a bit of a purple stain on the side of the red lace, but quickly shook it off and put on the change of clothes that Brittany had brought her. "Britt, it's okay, but…will you walk me to second period? Meet at the science room?"

Tina looked so vulnerable, so helpless. Brittany nodded. "Of course."

The rest of the day was very peaceful, but Brittany was not at ease. She waited until she got to Cheerio practice after school and laid into Santana. "How could you do that to us, to her?" she asked, her eyes watering up. She quickly took a breath and tried not to cry, because she was going to be as tough as Santana was, if not more. "People are harassing her at school, they slushied her and it's your fault."

The other cheerleader turned around, flipping her ponytail to the side. She tilted her head and laughed. "Brittany, sweetie," she said, "I didn't do anything to your precious girlfriend."

Brittany pushed her back against the cheerleading lockers. She was decidedly against violence, because she thought it was the worst thing in the world but Santana had really hurt her. "Santana, you did this," she said, nearly whining the words out.

"I did you a favor, honey," Santana said, crossing her arms and staring Brittany in the eye. "It's time you get your head out of the clouds and realize what being in a lesbian relationship with a loser is going to do to you."

Brittany didn't think before she slapped Santana in the face. The other girl reeled, tilting her head to the side and staring in shock, holding her face.

"Girls, save it for the porno you'll undoubtedly be staring in post graduation."

Sue's voice rang through Brittany's clouded mind and she looked over. "Go ice your face Lopez," she said, looking to Brittany and giving her a semi-approving look. "Nice one blondie. Didn't know you had it in you."


	8. Chapter 8

Doctor Shane Dale was a very calm, professional looking woman. She listened to everything that Tina had to say and when Tina was done, simply smiled. "Do you really think that a fake stutter is the worst thing I've ever heard?" she asked, as Tina looked down ashamed. She touched the table between them, causing Tina to glance upward. She shook her head lightly. "Don't be ashamed of it, Tina, if it's in the past. Individuals with social anxiety disorder have gone to great lengths to hide their issues."

Tina nodded. For the first time she felt that lying about her issues and faking her stutter did not make her a bad person.

For the rest of the session they just talked; they talked about her life, about singing and glee club, about Brittany and their secret relationship that was now not so secret. Finally, the talk moved to her anxiety. There were not words for what a release it was to share those terrible feelings with someone else. It felt as though she had been holding them in forever. She was finally free.

When it was over, the Doctor hugged her. "You did well Tina," she said, probably sensing her shaking. "I'll see you back here next week, alright?"

She nodded, confident. "Alright."

She knew that everything plaguing her would not be solved quickly but the fact that she'd made the first step was enough. Immediately after she left the office, she texted Brittany.

Date tonight? Please. - xo Tina.

Brittany's response took awhile but Tina needed a moment to sit in her car and breathe. When it finally did come she broke into a smile.

Of course! I'll go wherever you want! - B

Tina smiled as she typed that she'd pick Brittany up. She was just excited to see her girl, honestly. She needed it more than she needed anything.

Seeing Brittany was always exciting but after her appointment, Tina was so excited to see her that she got out of the car for a hug. She wrapped her arms around the girl and Brittany hugged her back with enthusiasm Tina had learned to expect from her. "How did it go today with the doctor?" Brittany asked. "Did she fix your problems?"

Tina smiled at the innocence of the question. "Not yet, but I'm on my way," she comforted as Brittany brushed the hair out of her eyes. "Being open and honest with someone felt so good."

"I knew that it would feel good," Brittany responded. "I'm so proud of you."

They kissed and then went to the car. Brittany crawled in. It was so nice to see Brittany outside of her Cheerio uniform. She was pretty, so pretty. In fact she was the prettiest girl that Tina had ever seen in her life.   
Dinner was great, of course. Tina liked the fact that she could now go out publicly with her girlfriend. That was definitely the best part of being out. She spent most of the dinner just staring at her. Afterward, they decided the best idea was to go back to Tina's.

Gossiping led to talking, talking led to cuddling and cuddling lead to making out. Kissing Brittany was the best thing ever. Tina was slowly starting to become more comfortable with making out. She let Brittany push it further, groaning at the feel of her girlfriend's tongue licking along her lower lip. She parted her lips and let the kiss get deeper. It lasted for a long time before surprisingly Brittany backed off and looked at Tina with a sad and confused expression on her face.

"Tina," she mumbled under her breath, looking at Tina with big, worried eyes. "You don't think I'm a slut do you?"

Tina looked confused. Why would Brittany ask that? She tilted her head to the side and looked her girlfriend over; it was more than obvious that the question was genuine. "Why would you ask that?" she asked Brittany. "Of course I don't think you're a slut."

"People at school think I am," she said simply, shrugging her shoulders. "I also guess that if sleeping with a lot of people makes you a slut then I am one. I have slept with a lot of people and you're still a virgin. That sort of means that you're too good for me, doesn't it?" Brittany genuinely looked so sad that it made Tina hurt inside. Nothing was supposed to make a girl like her feel that badly.

Tina leaned over and kissed Brittany's cheek. "I don't think you're a slut," she said. "I don't want you to sleep with a lot of people anymore, of course, because you're all mine."

Brittany smiled at that. "I can definitely deal with that," she said. "Tina, can I ask why you're a virgin? Also, why is that a bad thing? Some of the kids at school said that the slut couldn't be in a lesbian relationship with a virgin, which is why I was sort of starting to worry. Just because I love you doesn't mean I want to have sex with you yet. Last year, Miss Pillsbury told some of the Cheerios that you shouldn't have sex until you're ready. Also, Quinn told me that sex was wrong but look what happened to her…"

Tina chuckled under her breath. "Well, sweetie, I don't think that anyone should use Quinn as an example," she mumbled. "Quinn is sort of an example right now of why celibacy for the wrong reasons causes problems."

"What?"

"Nevermind it," Tina said, leaning over and kissing Brittany's cheek again. She ended up staying leaning in her girlfriend's shoulder, breathing in the sweet scent that was all Brittany. "I'm not ready to have sex yet, but when I am ready it's going to be you. It's always going to be you. I'm not even trying to be sappy because I know relationships in high school aren't meant to last, but we're going to be solid Brittany. We'll find our way."

"So you promise I'm not a slut?"

She hugged her. "I promise Brittany. I love you."


	9. Chapter 9

Brittany was hanging out with Tina, Kurt and Artie. Brittany was more fixated on how good Kurt looked in his Cheerios uniform (yes, he had just joined and yes, Brittany was so excited) but the other three were fixated on this list that had appeared. "I don't get it," she said softly, as the other three chattered about this Glist thing.

"It's ranking the whole club based on reputation and sexual promiscuity or well, perceived promiscuity," Tina explained gently. "Whoever made it put you at fourth, while Kurt, Artie and I are all at the bottom."

"Who would make a list like that?" she asked. "Also, why would I be forth? People always call me names like slut and whore and I've kind of made out with the whole sophomore class, Tina."

"We don’t know who wrote it, Britt, but it was one of us in glee," Kurt explained.

"I also told you that you're not a slut," Tina said firmly, touching her shoulder. The touch was nice and comforting and Brittany leaned closer to Tina. "I do kind of have to admit that it's embarrassing to be seen as innocent and shy all the time and just have this crystal clear reputation."

"I bet you anything that your rep is going to change now that you two are…um, dating," Artie suggested. This led to Tina giving him a death glare, one that made Brittany laugh because Tina was fierce underneath her shy exterior. Then it made her wonder: would Tina's reputation change now that they were open with everyone about their relationship? Would it change in a good way or a bad way? It kind of terrified Brittany that anyone could call Tina the horrible names they called her.

"People wouldn't call Tina mean things like they call me," she muttered under her breath, calming herself. Tina wasn't in the spotlight, even if she was dating a Cheerio now. She was awesome too. People couldn't be mean to her because she was smart, fierce and good at everything she did.

Brittany listened half-heartedly as Artie, Tina and Kurt discussed ways to boost their reputation. She thought that was silly. It was good that people didn't think of any of them as having a bad reputation. That meant that they weren't as easily bothered by their stupid school and all of the prejudices that went with it. Brittany didn’t say so though, lost in her own thoughts. She was definitely willing to help them loosen up and have fun but she didn't want any of her friends to get negative reputations.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the touch of Tina's hand against hers. It was so nice and made her smile. Tina dragged her back to earth when her head was really in the clouds. "Hi Tina," she muttered softly, cuddling up to the girl's side. Yeah, Brittany sort of loved the way her life was.

After awhile, Artie and Tina both had to leave. That was when Brittany turned to Kurt and shook her head. "Kurt," she muttered. "I kind of think that it's dumb that you guys want to boost yourself up because of some list. You guys are all awesome and whoever wrote that list about the glee club is stupid. Also, it's good that you don't have a bad reputation, because that means that whoever taught you what to do taught you the right things."

Kurt just smiled at her and ruffled her hair. She stuck her tongue out at him. "I know Britt," he said. "It's just hard to be seen a certain way when you're in high school. We all likely won't do anything about it. We were just ranting because we needed something to complain about, I guess. You know, Britt, you're a smart girl. I know people don't always see you as that way, but you are."

Kurt's words meant a lot to her. She was so tired of people calling her stupid or seeing her as less than intelligent just because she wasn't good at school and things like that. Kurt was a true friend and she reached out and squeezed him in a hug because of this. He laughed and smiled at her. She would do anything for him. He was also super smart, one of the smartest people she knew. That was why she asked him a question. "Kurt, do you think that Tina's going to get a bad reputation for dating me?"

Kurt frowned a little at that, turning to walk down the hall, but grabbing her hand so that she'd follow. "I don't know," he said. "People will probably make dumb jokes, Brittany, but it doesn't matter. Tina's smart, you're smart. You guys also are totally in love, which means more than any of the possible haters."

Brittany nodded. "True," she said. "I love Tina so much. When she and I eventually do have our first time it's going to be perfect because it's going to be special for her." She realized after she spoke that the statement was probably one of those things she said that she wasn't exactly supposed to say. Kurt certainly had an uncomfortable look on his face. "Well anyway," she said, "you also have to remember not to go with just anyone, okay Kurt? You're a special dolphin and deserve the best too."

Kurt's uncomfortable look turned to a smile at that. "You're the best Brittany," he said. "You should come over later. I miss my makeover best friend."

"Deal," she said happily.

After school that day, Brittany had Cheerios practice. She and Santana had really stopped being best friends, which was sad. What was even sadder was the fact that she and Santana were getting into arguments over it. "Stop being so mean to me," she finally ordered her former best friend, staring her down. "Ever since Tina and I started dating you've been a bitch to me Santana. I thought you always said that I was your exception. I was the one person that you wouldn't be mean and hurtful to."

Santana put her hands on her hips. "I said that before you started dating Little Miss Stutter." She looked so mean that Brittany almost wanted to cry. She wanted to tell Santana she was sorry and that she missed her best friend, but Santana couldn't threaten what she and Tina had anymore. "I guess that's out the window now."

"You've never been mean to me over anyone else I dated," Brittany argued.

"Well, this is different," Santana said, immediately adding, "that chick is messing with your rep, B."

"I like my reputation right where it is," Brittany said, going to line up with the rest of the Cheerios.

"Like I've said many times before, Brittany, Santana, save it for the lesbian cheerleader porn."

Brittany rolled her eyes at Coach Sylvester's commentary, getting ready to start practicing the routine for the pep rally. It wasn't until she was in the middle of the field, doing lifts and backflips that something hit her.

Santana wasn't being mean to her because Tina was unpopular. Santana was being mean to Tina because she was a girl and Brittany loved her. Santana was jealous.


	10. Chapter 10

It was at school on a Friday when Brittany found Kurt crying. Her mind was already all messed up with thoughts of Santana, so she almost didn't notice, but then she realized how sad he was. . "Kurt, what's wrong?" she asked, quickly approaching his locker. He was doing that weird thing that a person sometimes did when they were trying to hide the fact that they were crying from anyone. She could tell that he was crying though. It was a horrible thing.

"Is it bad that I sometimes wish I was straight?" Kurt asked, turning to look at her. It was then that Brittany realized he was really struggling with the crying. "I know that being gay isn't something that I ever could have helped, but still, it would have been nice to be the son that my dad wanted. I never wanted that to be someone else."

"Kurt, what are you talking about?" Brittany asked awkwardly. "Being gay is a huge part of who you are. It's what makes you special. Your dad is so cool Kurt; of course you're the son he wants."

He sighed and looked back out the window. "My dad didn't want a gay son," he said softly. "It's wishful thinking. I know that my dad loves me but Finn has really become the son he always wanted. Who goes to football and baseball games with him? Who watches sports on television? Who understands what he's ranting about over sports, car parts? It's not me. My father has never once cared about my interests and I have to admit that I'm not devoted to his."

"Kurt," she scolded sweetly. "You don't have to like the same things as your dad. The best you can do is try to appreciate his likes and stuff." Kurt looked up at her and he was so sad. "Nothing can replace you Kurt. Absolutely nothing. You can't be anything that you're not and neither can he. Everyone was made special, remember?"

"I know, but…"

"Kurt, being straight won't change things. Only talking to your dad will."

He sniffled a little bit, once again forcing his tears away. "I don't think you're right Brittany," he said. "If I was exactly like Finn then I would be the one he was going to games with, talking to about women. There would be so much better in my life if I wasn't gay and absolutely flaming while I'm at it. I'm just tired of being me."

"Think about it this way," she said, hands on her hips. "If you were my boyfriend, would your dad see you any differently?"

"Yes."

Brittany frowned. That wasn't the answer that she was looking for. She wanted Kurt to realize that if he was dating a girl then it would make no difference. "I'll prove it to you," she said. "On Friday night we'll go out on a fake date on your house. If your dad treats you any differently then I'll believe you."

Before he could answer, she turned and walked off, making her plans.

Tina was not exactly pleased by those plans. She crossed her arms when Brittany told her about them and glared at her. "Britt, do you really think that's going to be a good idea?" she asked. She looked a little jealous, which was funny, because Brittany knew that Kurt was gay. She just wanted to prove to him that he didn’t need to be straight in order to earn his father's approval. She wanted him to see that.

"I think it'll help Kurt," Brittany said thoughtfully, tilting her head back and looking into Tina's pretty eyes. "I know he's gay and so do you. He thinks that his dad will like him better if he's like Finn, but he's never going to like Finn better than his own son. He doesn't need Kurt to be straight in order to love him."

"Of course not," Tina relented. "Mr. Hummel loves Kurt for who he is."

"I just want him to realize it'll just confuse his father," she said softly. "Let me try. One date, just in front of Mr. Hummel. It'll do Kurt so much good. He's going through a messed up time. Let me try at least."

"Okay."

_

Tina's heart beat sped up, going a little faster as she watched Brittany talk about her plan to make Kurt happier. It wasn't the first time Tina noticed this, but her girlfriend was special. People called Brittany people names, of course, because she wasn't typically intelligent, but she was so smart in the profound way that really mattered. She saw people when they were hurting and she did everything in her power to help them.

"Tina?"

She blinked, trying to stop getting lost in thought. "Sorry Brittany, what?" she asked softly.

"You were just looking at me funny," she said.

Tina blushed at that. She was too obvious with her admiration of Brittany, but that really wasn't a bad thing. "Sorry, I just got a little caught up staring," she said chuckling. "Brittany, you're a really great person. I know that this is a little bit unconventional but I think that you could teach Kurt just what he needs to know in this situation."

"Really?"

She nodded. "Really."

Her next doctor's appointment was that afternoon and it was rough. The things that she and the psychologist talked about were very difficult to discuss. By the end she was crying because fuck it all, she didn't know why she was the way she was. She struggled with things that were easy for other kids her age and it wasn't fair. Why should social situations that came easy to everyone else be a struggle for her? What did she do wrong? Why couldn't she be normal?

The appointment did end with a reference to a psychiatrist for a prescription, which was weird to Tina. She wasn't sure that she needed medication but at the same time it would be nice if something out there could take the edge off every single emotion that she'd ever possessed. She was always anxious, always at the edge of her seat. If something could help, well she was going to be open to anything.

The one thing that scared her most about the appointment wasn’t the medication, no. Tina was open to trying new things that could help her improve her life. One of the many questions she and the doctor had discussed was coming out about Brittany to her mom. Tina was pretty sure that the woman already knew about them, because it was hard to hide the light in her eyes when she talked about Brittany, but still. After the appointment she decided to try, even if it made her heart pound so hard it hurt.

"Mom," she said, when she got into the car with her mother who had driven her to the appointment. "Can we talk for a second before we go?"

Her mom turned to face her instantly, eyes showing that she was listening. She was very in tune with Tina, especially after these appointments had started. She knew Tina needed to talk and wasn't always getting a voice. Tina appreciated that so much, more than she could easily explain to her mother. Her mom nodded, indicating that it was okay to talk.

Tina stammered out her words.

"Mom, h-how would you feel if…I was…in love with a girl?" she whispered. "I mean, I'm not fully gay…I think I'm bisexual but I'm not one hundred percent on the label. I mean I know you wouldn't hate me but…would you be…okay?"

At that, her mom's face softened and Tina was surprised when she saw relief there. Who knows what kind of confession that her mother was expecting to come out after an intense therapy session? The woman reached over and pulled Tina over the center compartment of the car for a hug. Tina laughed as she lost her balance. "Tina, I know," she mumbled softly. "Well, I mean, I don't know the label because God, that's something we all have to figure out for ourselves, if we ever do, but I know – Brittany, right?"

Tina smiled. She should have known that her mother would know. She started crying, not because she was upset but because she was so freaking overwhelmed. "Yeah," she whispered. "We've been going out for awhile but we're…we're finally out at school." She choked in a breath and her mom let go, rubbing her back to get her breathing again. She was used to seeing emotion doing this to Tina.

"You and Brittany can date," her mom said sweetly, "on one condition." Her mischeviosu smile clued Tina in that it wasn't serious.

"What?"

"She's coming over to meet me more officially."

For once, Tina really felt like a regular teenage girl. "D-deal mom," she whispered, still crying but out of happiness now.


	11. Chapter 11

"Hello Mr. Hummel," Brittany said cheerfully, watching him carefully as Burt Hummel opened the door.

"Hi there, Brittany-was it?"

She nodded cheerfully. "Yep," she said. "I'm here for my date with Kurt." She watched as the man's eyes narrowed in confusion and nearly squealed with delight because her plan was working. He looked absolutely confused at the idea of his son dating a girl. He didn't look happy either. Brittany figured she was on the right track and that her plan was going to start working any second.

"Date?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. "Is that what you guys are calling your dance routines and stuff now?"

Brittany smiled brightly, trying her best to act like she wasn't completely aware of Kurt's sexuality. "Nope," she said just as brightly as anything else. "I think that Kurt wants to be my boyfriend. He said that he's not sure if he's gay anymore so we're going to go on a date." It was the perfect little lie. It would make things work out for Kurt.

Kurt walked upstairs from his basement bedroom at just that moment. He cast his father a strange glance but then focused on Brittany. "Hi Britt," he said softly. He took another look at his father and then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "How are you, sweetheart?" Brittany noticed that he made his voice considerably deeper when he spoke and was dressed in a very un-Kurtlike manner in a flannel shirt. He looked like a miniature version of his father. Who did Kurt really think that he was kidding?

"I'm okay Kurt…"

"Great," he said, reaching for her hand. "Let's go downstairs. We'll see you in a little bit, Dad. Don't worry; I'll keep the door open."

"Okay…"

Kurt quickly led her downstairs. Brittany always had enjoyed Kurt's bedroom. It was like a cave and the biggest bedroom that she had ever seen. She sat down on the comfortable futon at the far end of the room and looked Kurt in the eye. She hoped her look told him that he wasn't fooling anyone. He looked back at her and he seemed so confused and conflicted. "So, Brittany…how's cheerleading?"

She started talking to Kurt casually about things that didn't really matter. After a short conversation, she heard footsteps at the top of the stairs leading down into the basement. It was obvious that Mr. Hummel was spying on them, so, of course, Kurt reached around her waist and pulled her into a quick kiss on the lips. He was a pretty good kisser, honestly. He didn't kiss like Tina or anything but he had an unsure charm to the way he kissed her.

"Alright, Kurt, what game are you playin?"  
Brittany was surprised when Mr. Hummel stopped spying on them and actually walked down the stairs. He looked at Kurt as though his son had gone crazy. Oh man, maybe Kurt had actually gone crazy. Brittany was worried he had.

Kurt sat up and glared at his father. "Dad!" he shrieked. "I'm here with Brittany, on a date," he said. "That's all that's going on."

"Kurt, you're gay."

"I'm learning a lot of new things about myself Dad," he defends quickly. He shakes his head and looks back to Brittany.

Mr. Hummel wasn't letting up. "Kurt, you're wearing different clothes, talking differently and trying to tell me that you're dating a girl," he said softly. "Something has to be going on in your life but I can't help unless you let me in." Brittany held her breath, hoping that Kurt would finally admit to his father about the things that were bothering him.

Kurt, instead, was pretty snappy. "Dad, if you cared so much you would have…" he stopped himself mid-sentence. He got up and stormed past his father. Brittany found herself alone with Kurt's father, who looked dumbstruck.

"Are you going to follow him?" she asked.

"No," he said, shaking his head from side to side. "Sixteen years with that boy and I know he'll sit in his car for awhile, let the emotion out."

"He really is gay," she whispered.

He stepped down the stairs and approached her. He sat down next to her. "Why's he playing straight then?" he asked. "Why are you playing along with this mess?"

She looked into the man's eyes. Burt had very calm, sincere eyes. He was a good dad and he really loved his son. She was pretty sure that he wasn't intentionally hurting Kurt by being closer to Finn. He probably didn't even know it. "I wanted Kurt to realize that acting like a straight boy wouldn't make you like him any better," she explained gently. "He was really convinced that if he could be like Finn then you would like him more."

"More like Finn?" Burt asked. "What does that mean?"

"Ever since you started dating Finn's mom, you've spent more time with Finn than with Kurt," she explained carefully. "I think that Kurt feels like you like Finn better because you guys like sports and cars and stuff."

His eyes changed at that. He looked serious and then upset. He frowned and shook his head. "I didn't even realize," he said in a low, disturbed voice. "How could I be so stupid? I was just trying to help Finn out. Kid never had a father growing up and…"

"Kurt is really special," Brittany said softly.

"He is," Burt said, his eyes moving back to her. "You're a good kid too Brittany. I'll talk to Kurt. Thank you for helping him."

"You're welcome," she said softly.

Overall, Brittany was very happy with the way her plan worked. She had faith that Burt would talk to his son and everything would be sorted out. She would have been very happy overall if she hadn't gone home to find Santana lounging in her bedroom. "Hi sweetie," Santana said with a slight drawl to her voice. "Your mom let me in and told me you'd be back soon. Where have you been? It's getting late."

"I was at Kurt's…" she mumbled.

"I need to talk to you Britt," Santana said clearly. "I want you. I need you. I know we've fooled around in the past but I really want you for…reasons Brittany. I like you."


	12. Chapter 12

Santana grabbed Brittany by the wrist and urged her closer. Brittany wasn't threatened by her friend exactly, but she felt the overwhelming urge to pull away. She pulled back, but still kept the beautiful girl's gaze. Santana looked emotional, angry and confused. She smiled at Brittany awkwardly before speaking slowly. "I'm afraid that I might be gay," she said honestly, looking up and down. Brittany could see that she was terrified. "I didn't wanna admit that I was jealous of you and Tina, Britt, 'cause it's stupid, but I am."

Brittany frowned. "I'm definitely here to help you if you're upset over being…maybe gay," she said softly, trying to sort out her feelings and process what Santana was saying. "I'm really sorry that you're jealous too, San. I've been jealous before and it's a really nasty feeling. I love Tina though, a lot."

At those words, Santana let out an exasperated sigh. "Britt, what does she have that I don't?" she asked, frowning a little bit and crossing her arms. She leaned back and closed her eyes. She seemed genuinely hurt and Brittany felt bad for her, but had Santana forgotten what she did to Brittany and Tina?

"She's sweet and kind and I love her, okay?"Santana looked like she was on the verge of crying, so Brittany kept talking. Santana's outbursts were loud and dramatic and she wasn't sure she could handle it. "Santana, I will definitely help you out. I know that McKinley can be kind of awful to people who are special like Kurt and Tina…, but we'll make sure that nobody hurts you. We can all work together. Maybe we can make a special club or something."

"Brittany, I want you."

"That's really sweet Santana," she mumbled. "I used to have a huge crush on you during freshman year too, but you said that you were just using me. I let you, but Tina taught me not to have sex with people just because. I never knew that there were real feelings there. You promised me over and over that there weren't."

"I lied," she mumbled.

"You shouldn't have done that," Brittany said gently. "Santana, you're my best friend…"

Santana got up at that. Brittany knew she was going to leave. Santana Lopez was never one to be denied what she wanted. Brittany, in the past, had not been strong enough to stand up for herself but she was a different person now. She stood up for herself, even though she was sometimes manipulated and confused. "You and that bitch will pay for it," Santana said but instead of a legitimate threat it came out as a sob. She ran out of the room, slamming the door shut. Brittany rolled her eyes and crawled up on her bed. Lord Tubbington joined her shortly. Life was complicated.

Brittany laid back, watching as Lord Tubbington crawled up to her side and then plopped down his massive body. When he was little, the cat used to crawl up onto her, but now that would be slightly dangerous. "Santana means a lot to me," she told the cat. "You know that though." There was a time, before she learned to hide her diary, of course, that the cat read it frequently. She knew he did. "She's my best friend and has been since we were tiny. She's also manipulative and mean. She really does hurt though. You told me that last year, remember?" Lord Tubbington liked to hiss at Santana. At first Brittany thought that was because the cat didn't like her, but she was quickly learning that he felt sorry for her and all the pain she had. "I want to help her. I think I'm going to call Tina. Not that I think you're unhelpful or anything."

She dialed her girlfriend's number and took several deep breaths while listening to the ringing. Finally Tina picked up. "Hi sweetie," she said, just the sound of her voice comforting to Brittany. Tina was that good. She took a deep breath and started to relax. "How was the date with Kurt?" Tina asked, before she could say anything about Santana.

"It was odd, but it did exactly what I said it would," Brittany said, cradling the phone to her ear. "His dad freaked out, but finally caught on to the way that Kurt was feeling. I am officially the most awesome friend to ever exist."

"I could've told you that."

Brittany smiled. Tina always did everything she could to make her feel good about herself. "The Kurt thing went pretty well," she said, "but afterward wasn't so good. I came home and Santana was over here. She told me something."

Brittany could hear the change in Tina's tone at that. "Oh really?" she asked. Brittany knew that her girlfriend didn't like Santana much and she had a lot of reason not to. "What did Santana have to say, hmm?"

"She said she's gay," Brittany said with a slightly sad laugh. "Please don't tell Santana I told you though. This is really serious and she's scared."

For a long moment, Tina didn't say anything. She was quiet, before muttering, "Really? I never…I never realized that about her at all."

"I thought she might be," Brittany admitted. "We've been friends for a long time and I sort of noticed some things about her that clued me in. She just always insisted when we were flirting and hooking up and stuff that she was not into me like that. She just did it because she had needs she wanted taken care of."

"I feel bad for her," Tina said hesitantly, "but she did a lot to hurt us Britt."

"I told her that we could help and support her," Brittany said quickly. She didn't want Tina to think that she was being unhelpful to her best friend, or her former best friend, or whatever Santana considered herself right now. "We both know that it really sucks to like girls, right? She didn't exactly act like that was what she wanted though. She told me that she…wanted me like that." Brittany wasn't sure why guilt crossed her like that, the moment she said those words. It wasn't like she wanted Santana back. It was just hard to tell your girlfriend that another girl liked you.

"What'd you tell her?" Tina asked softly.

"I told her that I loved you," Brittany said quickly. "I liked Santana a lot once. I had a big crush on her during junior high and in freshman year but that's all over. You're the one for me Tina, not her." Tina made a loud sound that reminded Brittany a lot of blowing your nose or sniffling. "Tina?" she asked.

"You're just so sweet Brittany," Tina whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too."

They talked for a really long time that night, no more mention of Santana occurring, of course. Brittany always felt comfortable talking to Tina. Tina had admitted to Brittany once before that she was shy and not one for much talking, but she enjoyed talking to her girlfriend immensely. Brittany liked the way that they could lose track of time just talking about mundane, silly things. That was really important to her. Talking to Tina made her sleep well that night.

The next morning at school, she was approached by Kurt. His eyes were a little puffy, despite what she knew was an extensive facial routine covering them up. He looked happy, however. He saw her in the hallway and immediately wrapped his arms around her to pull her into a tight hug. "Kurt!" she yelled out, surprised. "What's that all about?" She knew people based on how much affection they showed and Kurt was not that kind of person.

He even blushed when he pulled away. "Sorry Brittany," he said. "I just…I just, I now realize what you were trying to do last night. I can't thank you enough."

Brittany squealed at that. That meant her plan with Kurt had gone even better than she'd imagined. "I'm so happy to hear that Kurt," she said, reaching out and grabbing his hand. He grabbed her hand back. He really was one of the most special people at McKinley High School. She pulled him closer and linked arms with him, something that made him laugh. "You're really a special person, Kurt."

"You are too, Brittany. So special."


	13. Chapter 13

Tina hated drama, but unfortunately, drama had become part of her life since she began dating Brittany. Now, Tina would not trade what she had with Brittany for the world, but it was hard to handle. She had to admit that the moment she found out that Santana was also in love with Brittany, her heart hurt. It wasn't that she thought Brittany would betray her; it was just that she felt so inadequate in comparison to Santana Lopez. Santana was gorgeous, confident and over the top. She was smoking hot and she held the confident cheerleader persona in the same way that Brittany did. She and Brittany were known as a pair.

She groaned and rolled her eyes just thinking about it. She walked to her classes and tried to keep herself confident. She didn't need to compare herself to Santana because there was nothing to compare. She was the one that Brittany was in love with; she was the one that was with her. It was okay. There was nothing else to be done.

She walked through most of her day in a haze. By the time she was in glee club that afternoon, she was exhausted. She could barely listen to Mr. Schuester as he babbled on about how Vocal Adrenaline was bigger and better than ever. She wasn't sure that New Directions stood a chance against them for Regionals, but at least they could try. She wasn't like Rachel, who would be devastated by losing; no, Tina was just glad they'd made it as far as they did.

"And then Santana can…" Mr. Schue trailed off. "Wait, where is Santana?"

This made Tina look over to the empty seat at Brittany's other side. "Where is she?" she mouthed to Brittany.

"I don't know," Brittany said out loud, not just to her but to Mr. Schue. She looked worried. "I haven't heard from her since…we had an argument…" She looked helpless and most of all, worried. Even though Tina didn't have the same concern for Santana, she was worried because her beloved girlfriend was worried.

"How irresponsible can she be?" Rachel yelled, frustrated. "Regionals is coming and she's not here? She didn't even have the decency to give us an excuse? We can't take this right before Regionals, guys. This isn't right."

Brittany didn't look pleased with Rachel. She looked over at her and frowned. Tina knew that her girlfriend was at a loss for words. "Santana's kind of going through a rough time," Tina said softly, shyly. "Give her a little space, guys. I know that it's a big deal and that Regionals is coming up but Brittany will talk to her and she'll feel a lot better." She looked to Brittany to make sure she said the right thing and Brittany smiled.

That day they ran through the choreography for their big group number. It was enjoyable for Tina, even though dancing was never her strong suit. Mike and Brittany took the lead and got everyone through the routine. It looked great. Maybe they didn't have the spark or the energy of Vocal Adrenaline, but they had something those automatic robots could never hope for. They had heart and feeling.

Halfway through the rehearsal, Tina was sitting and taking a break, when Mr. Schue approached her. "Tina, I left some paperwork in a blue file folder in the Spanish classroom," he said, "I can't technically leave the room while you guys are rehearsing, so can you run and get it?"

Tina nodded and quickly got up to her feet to grab Mr. Schue's work. As she turned to walk away she caught a glimpse of Mike and Brittany dancing. God, Brittany took her breath away. Every little thing she did was absolute magic.

She walked down the hall, opening the door once she reached Mr. Schuester's Spanish class. She expected it to be empty. Instead, she found one missing Santana sitting at a desk in the back, staring at the wall blankly. Tina had figured she ditched by leaving the school; instead she hid in the Spanish class she knew would be empty. "Santana?" she asked gently.

Santana looked up at her and it was obvious the gorgeous cheerleader had been crying. She hid that, however, immediately replacing it with a frighteningly convincing bitchface. "What are you doing here?" she asked with attitude, shaking her head at Tina and glaring at her. Tina almost shrunk back, it was that good.

"I came to get some papers for Mr. Schue," she said seriously, going to grab the folder in question. "You weren't in glee."

"So?" Santana asked. "It's not like I care about you losers or anything."

Tina held her own. She was trying not to be so easily intimidated and she had to be strong. She wasn't sure if she should let Santana in on what she now knew. She quickly approached her, staring her down. "Santana, I don't blame you for being pissed off at the world," she said, crossing her arms and staring. "You still should support glee. You and I, we could make pretty good friends, especially since you're so close to Brittany already."

"I don't want to be your friend, Miss Stutters," she snapped. "I don't want anything to do with you or with Brittany, or with your stupid relationship."

"I know you're jealous," Tina said. "I understand it, but it shouldn't hold you back."

"Bitch, I would kick your ass out this window if it wouldn't hurt Brittany," Santana said, standing up and glaring at Tina so hard she was afraid her head would burst into flame. "I really hate that you're the one for her, you know that? I hate that she's with someone like you, when she should have been with me this whole time. I just…I can't stand it. I can't take it."

Tina took a deep breath and frowned. "At least don't mess with glee because you hate me," she said softly, delicately. She was anxious, her heart pounding in her chest, but she was keeping her confidence levels up. "It's almost Regionals, Santana. We need you. We really do. Especially Brittany."

She took a breath and turned to walk away.

She stepped down the hall and back to glee. She was incredibly proud of herself when Santana returned a few minutes later, claiming that Coach Sylvester had caught her and was ranting about drills and routines. Tina let Santana get away with the lie, nodding with approval. The group did have to stick together.


	14. Chapter 14

Regionals had finally arrived and Tina was nervous. No, to say that Tina was nervous would be too nice. Tina was absolutely, completely terrified. She wasn't even singing a solo or anything that would put her in the spotlight, but her stomach felt nauseous and her head hurt. Just taking a small glance out into the crowd was enough to make her want to vomit.

Brittany was sweet to her, as always. "Tina, are you okay?" she asked, twirling her dress slightly as she stepped to Tina's side. It didn't surprise her much that her girlfriend seemed unbothered; Brittany was always destined for a spotlight. She was strong, confident and perfect.

"I'm fine," she said, looking back and forcing a smile.

Brittany frowned back. "It's okay Tina," she said, reaching forward and pulling Tina into a sudden hug. "I promise that it is. I know that things like this freak you out, but just remember that you have your whole family here with you. We're like a family in New Directions, remember?"

"We are," she said, nodding slowly. "I'm just weird."

"Nope, you're perfect, Tina."

Aural Intensity performed first. They were good, but rather unimpressive. Tina noticed several of the members of Vocal Adrenaline chuckling to themselves during the performance. She looked at her own group while they performed. Rachel was smiling to herself, confident but quiet for the usually bold diva. Santana was still sullen and Tina had caught more than one glare toward her and Brittany during the ride up, but she seemed a bit calmer. Everyone was ready to go, ready for their moment.

Their moment came.

Tina wasn't sure she'd have picked Journey songs if song selections were on her but it worked. Finn and Rachel took everyone's breath away with their duet, including their own group members. Their drama was something that Tina preferred to stay far from, but at the same time any doubt she had that those two were meant for each other was vanquished when watching them perform. The follow-up medley was fun and Tina lost her nerves as she lost herself in song.

She couldn't believe how far they had come. Just a few short months earlier, they had been a ragtag group of five that couldn't do anything with themselves. Just a few short months earlier, she had been a shy girl who was faking a stutter and faking love for the best part of her life. She looked to Brittany just as the number finished and they exchanged a knowing glance. Tina knew that there was a lot about high school relationships that were up in the air and that nothing said they'd be together forever, but she'd do whatever she could to keep Brittany in her life. "I love you," she mouthed, to Brittany who smiled and bowed.

She grabbed Tina around the waist just as their number completed. "I love you too," she said happily. "I love you so much Tina."

Tina didn't care who was watching. The moment that they walked offstage, she reached for Brittany and pulled her girlfriend into a desperate kiss. Brittany kissed her back sweetly, brushing a hand over her cheek. Puck whistled playfully behind her and Brittany turned to glare daggers at him before pushing back into the kiss. Tina found she didn't mind the attention for once.

It was when she heard the opening notes of their song that she realized Vocal Adrenaline was on. She didn't even bother going to take a look with the rest of the group. She just leaned into Brittany's side.

"Oh my God."

It was Santana's voice that broke through the haze of being happy, excited and in love. Tina expected the girl to fling some kind of insult, but instead she just looked at Brittany and Tina before speaking softer. "Quinn's going into labor," she said softly, looking over their shoulders at Puck. "Get back there, Puckerman."

Puck immediately went in the direction Santana gestured. Santana stood there for a long moment, just staring at the two girls in front of her. Tina frowned and then looked at Brittany. "Quinn's really having the baby, right?" she asked softly.

"You think I'd lie about something like that?" Santana asked, giving a half-smile at that. "No, Fabray's definitely ready to spit out her demon spawn."

"Oh…"

Brittany looked away from Santana, reaching down and grabbing Tina's hand. Tina felt Brittany's fingers intertwine with hers and held back just as tightly. "Santana, I'm not talking to you," Brittany said in a slightly vacant voice. "I promised myself that I wouldn't until you apologized to me. I'm sorry, but you should probably go help Quinn."

"Quinn's got her mom, Puckerman and Mercedes," Santana mumbled.

"You should still go."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Look Britt, I'm sorry, okay? I really am," she said honestly. "I'm sorry to you too, Tina. You're not a terrible person and maybe you two make a cute couple."

Tina was surprised at that. She frowned and looked at Santana with a bit of skepticism, but she could tell that the girl was serious about her apology. She broke into a slight smile at that. "Thank you Santana," she said softly, squeezing Brittany's hand a little tighter. "I know that you're Brittany's best friend and I really hope that you and I can be friends."

Santana shrugged. "Don't bet on it, but maybe," she said, glancing to her side. "Maybe I should help Berry calm the rest of the group; I dunno, Quinn's decision to have that thing now is kind of freaky."

With that, she was gone.

"That was pretty unexpected," Tina said, pulling Brittany into a hug.

Brittany nodded in agreement. "It sure was," she said shaking her head a little bit. "I'm glad she apologized though. She's a really important friend of mine, you know? I didn't want to lose her just because she decided to be mean to someone I love. I'm glad she changed her mind."

"Me too."

The results were announced about ten minutes later and it was devastating. Tina honestly wasn't sure that she had anticipated losing. It was funny, because New Directions were so new to all of this, but she had honestly just thought they stood a chance. Even if Vocal Adrenaline had won Regionals and Nationals several times, it still seemed…like it was theirs. New Directions stared in shock as Vocal Adrenaline took their trophy.

Brittany was the first one to speak when they made their way out to the busses. "It'll be okay," she said. "I have a strange feeling that it's not the end."

Tina didn't exactly have the heart to tell Brittany that without the Regionals win that was the end for them. Glee club was done in. "Brittany," she mumbled low, rubbing the back of her girlfriend's hand as they got onto the bus. "Even if we're not in glee together anymore, you're still going to be mine, right?" she asked. She knew that Brittany would, but still it was a sudden burst of discomfort for her.

"I'm always yours, Tina."

"Good."

It was the next day when they found out that through the mercy of Sue Sylvester (yes, seriously), glee club wasn't quite done in yet. When she told them, Brittany leapt up into Tina's arms and pressed a long kiss to her lips. Sue just raised an eyebrow. "You get em, blondie," she said, shrugging. "Until next year, Schuester."

Tina pulled back from the kiss and giggled.

If that was New Directions' first year, she couldn’t wait for its next.


End file.
